When I was sitting in the choral room of a local high school preparing for our rehearsal of the Vail Chorale, I looked up and saw on the blackboard the following statement: “Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters.” Wow, I thought! How appropriate for the Crone archetype and for the importance of communicating with others. I find myself so posed to quickly respond to what another one is saying either by interrupting or letting my mind quickly ruminate to what my opinions are on the subject. To really listen means to be silent—even after the other has finished talking.
Also, to really listen to the whispers of my soul, I need to be silent and spend time alone to hear them. Too much ‘noise’ drowns out the quiet whispers that can guide me to what the next step of my journey holds…especially when I am confused, worried, stressed and want to either get busy to drown out the ‘noise’ or run away to distract myself from what I really need to hear.
What happens when we really listen—may be painful and may hold a lot of clarity. Take time to practice being silent and listening to your Crone’s whispers, as well as, what is being said to you—particularly if you don’t agree!
I welcome Kerstin Bardua from Germany who has graciously shared a Face Book post for my blog. This speaks so eloquently about how Mother/Daughter relationships can be healed! This is also a beautiful example of how to use Queen and Crone energy to heal our relationships with our mothers. Enjoy!
As some of you know my mother has cancer since 3 1/2 years and in 2011 the doctors gave her 6 month. But she´s still living.
In 2010 I did my Woman Within weekend and in 2013 my Women in Power weekend. I´m so deeply grateful for having had all that experience for my growing within. I would not ave been there for my Mother through the last 3 1/2 years as I was, without all that experience and without all the wonderful women in my life. No matter if they are living in Germany, England, and the rest of Europe as well as in America, Australia and Africa.
I reclaimed my gentleness, wisdom, love and compassion, my freedom and peace. I´m able to guide my mother through her treatments with so much love and compassion even if I had chosen another “healing way”. And I got a new/renewed connection with her.
In October 2014 I staffed the Woman Within Weekend in England. It was her birthday too, so I wasn´t able to be with my mother when she was celebrating for an “unexpected” 4th time (from the view in 2011 after the diagnosis). Before I left to the UK for staffing I promised her that my birthday-gift for her would be time. A mother-daughter-day.
And when I came back I made the decision to spend one day with her in London. A place in a country I have planted one of my roots in 2010. And for her it´s an adventure to travel only for one day from Germany to London, a foreign country. And also exciting for her as she didn´t travel much especially without my father. It´s a little bit crazy. I picked her up early in the morning at 5:00 am, we flew to London and had breakfast there at 9:00 am. I showed her some wonderful places, we had a nice lunch. We both were total
relaxed, and enjoyed each and every second.
Through that we have had so much deep and important conversation about death and the question of how we would like to have our funeral and if we prefer to have a grave or not. She showed me so much wisdom and love for life. And I was able to see her crown. She was so gentle and tender. She trusted totally my guidance. At 9:30 pm we were back at home. One fulfilled day! Two days later she wrote me the following message:
“Dear Kerstin, I´m still thinking about our day in London. It was soooo wonderful!!! You´re an amazing and awesome young woman!!! I´m very proud of you, even if my share in that is very small! I love you so much! Your mum!”
I´m so grateful and deeply touched. That is it what every woman needs to hear from her mother and what each mother needs to say to her daughter. That is what needs to happen, that the older generation is blessing the next. When I write this I have tears of gratitude in my eyes. I realize that she gave me so much. A lot of who I am I got from her. She is such a brave, loving, life-affirming, gentle woman. I´m very proud to be her daughter and I love her so much. I bless you Karin, daughter of Johanna.
And I´m so grateful and happy that the intention of my gift was right. My mother is still “flying” and so happy. And I´m too. To have time together, conscious and with intention is so precious and valuable. And I bless my daughters Ludovica, Mauritia and Aimée. I´m very proud of you and to be your mum.
I thank all the women in my life for presenting me with so much. I bless you all.
Imagine a child whose parents have been killed and in order to survive she has to hide in the bushes or in a cave so she won’t be eaten by hyenas or captured and sold into human trafficking? This is the case for thousands of children in Sudan. A Woman Within graduate is making a difference in the lives of these children where they are fed, educated and kept secure in one of three orphanages throughout Sudan and South Sudan. As a Board member of Make Way Partners, I now have a part in serving these children in Africa.
As I think about these children, I am struck by the thought of all the women in America and around the world who have abandoned their Inner Child. Is your inner child hiding under a bush afraid she will be eaten by the ‘hyenas’ of life—or captured by all the false beliefs that keep her a slave to your adult life? A horrible thought, I know, however, this happens to my inner child all the time. I ignore and abandon her with my busy schedule and all my grown up tasks that squeeze out her out of my consciousness. Where is your inner child as you think about your daily life? Have you spoken to her and asked her how she is? Have you allowed her to play and have fun? Have you asked her to imagine some magical way to help you solve a problem in your ‘adult’ life? This part of you has so many gifts to offer you. Take a moment to picture and listen to your Inner Child. You can let her arrive in your awareness at any age she may choose to come—or you can call her in at a certain age. When she arrives—realize if you have abandoned her she may not warm up to you right away. Take some time to listen to her and let her throw a temper tantrum or communicate with you in HER way. You may want to ask your Mother archetype or Crone Archetype to be with you to support you in reconnecting with your child. After she has appeared, and after you have listened to her—then ask her what she needs from you and listen again. For most of the women I have met—as children they did not feel heard—and that need never goes away. Our inner child is hungry to feel heard and be held and loved. She would love for you to visit her a LOT—so take time to find your deserted child and call her home. For more information about Make Way Partners, visit the website www.makewaypartners.org.